Hello, Post-Traumatic Growth
I’ve had my share of trauma in my life. There was trauma in my childhood starting with relentless bullying, including children throwing rocks at me. I still remember crying into my mitten, my tears mixing with the blood. There was trauma in my young adulthood from self-harm to the gaslighting and implosion of my first serious relationship. There’s been trauma of various kinds since I’ve become an adult, when many of my traumas became lumped into the effects of my newly diagnosed bipolar disorder. When my psychiatrist said that I needed ECT, that was traumatic, too.
But I’ve recovered from all those traumas. (At least I think I have.) In fact, I may have experienced what’s called post-traumatic growth (PTG).
Post-traumatic growth is when you come out the other side of a trauma and experience positive changes in five spheres of your life. These are often listed as: appreciation of your life, relationships, personal strength, new possibilities, and spiritual change. PTG is usually discussed in connection with PTSD, sexual violence, and near-death experiences. By those measures, I guess what I experienced was really resilience, the ability to bounce back from hardship. Only one therapist has ever suggested that I had PTSD from the emotional abuse I suffered and, at the time, I dismissed it as unlikely. Now I wonder.
I do appreciate my life more now. My relationships are stronger and more stable. My personal strength is vastly improved. I have responded when new possibilities entered my life. My spirituality has evolved. I feel like a new person, a stronger feminist, a better person, better able to make and develop new relationships.
This is not to denigrate the experiences of anyone who has experienced PTSD, a near-death experience, or sexual violence. I understand that my experiences are nowhere near those traumas. But I’m not here to compare traumas. I’m here to talk about the aftermath.
Some people may experience PTG in the immediate aftermath of a life-altering experience, but I think that’s rare. It can take years or never happen at all. Therapy is likely to be a part of achieving PTG.
There are circumstances where PTG is assumed to be instantaneous, or nearly so. Cancer is a life-changing diagnosis that can take you through the five stages of grief. But, in the case of breast cancer, some people are expected to demonstrate PTG almost immediately. Barbara Ehrenreich has written about her own breast cancer diagnosis. She pointed out the number of people who, quite soon after their diagnosis say that it was the best thing that ever happened to them or that “cancer is a gift.” Ehrenreich noted all the pink ribbons and cheerful positivity that ensued. It was as if people with that diagnosis were not allowed to feel frightened, angry, or bitter.
But for most people, it takes time. The five stages of grief don’t occur according to anyone’s timeline. It’s personal. No one can tell a sufferer what they should feel or when they should feel it. In fact, those diagnosed aren’t even supposed to think of themselves as suffering from cancer. They call themselves survivors rather than victims. Acceptable reactions are strictly limited. How different is that from when people with psychiatric diagnoses are told to simply get over it?
Both resilience and post-traumatic growth are good things. I wonder if they’re related — if people who have resilience are more likely to experience PTG, or if people who demonstrate PTG then become more resilient. And I don’t know if we’ll ever find an answer to that.
But whether either explanation proves to be true, I’m just thankful they both exist. And I feel deeply for those who fight trauma without either one. They need help in any way they can get it, but likely through professional help. I know that whether I am resilient or have PTG, professionals have helped me. And so have non-experts who have supported me on my journey. I thank them all and wish the same for others.
