When You Can’t Tell If Dreams Are Real
When my husband has bad dreams, he has the ability to wake himself up or change the dream. At different times, Dan’s been able to realize that he wasn’t still in high school when he had the dream (the one everyone has) about being late for a test or not knowing anything about the topic. He’s dreamed about getting into a fight with someone, said to himself, “This is stupid,” and left the scenario. And he has had a dream when someone was saying, “I’m going to kill you.” He replied, “No, you’re not. I’m going to wake up now” and did. He’s a lucid dreamer.
Dreams occur during REM, or rapid eye movement, sleep, which happens around an hour and a half after you fall asleep and can last ten minutes or an hour the longer you sleep. Scientists believe that the dreams that come during REM sleep help you interpret memories or work out problems based on your experiences. That happens below the level of consciousness. You don’t usually wake up and think, “Oh! That’s what I should do about my problem!” Gradually, though, the insights gained from dreams can float to the surface and appear as if they’re new ideas.
“Lucid” dreams or dream manipulation occurs when you realize you’re dreaming and can deliberately affect the outcome. It’s not something everyone can do but many people have the ability or can learn. Some wake up immediately when they realize frightening nighttime images are just a dream. Or they may be able to alter the content of their dream or their behavior in the dream. That’s what my husband does.
Some people who dream don’t realize that’s what’s happening. They accept the dream images as reality. They could also feel trapped in the dream, believing that something or someone is threatening them and being unable to affect what happens. Those dreams can be both frightening and repetitive. Instead of being a time to work out problems, dreams become a form of torture. In particular, someone who has PTSD or a phobia can experience terrifying dreams that put them right back into dark places they’ve experienced.
Scientists and therapists are exploring lucid dreaming as a way to help with psychological difficulties that manifest as terrifying dreams. This “lucid dreaming therapy” may act as a kind of exposure therapy in which the dreamer confronts their fears gradually and learns to defeat them. For example, someone with a fear of heights or falling might practice lucid dreaming by incorporating an ability to fly into their dreams.
Journaling or meditation may also help a person develop the ability to dream lucidly since these practices involve recording dreams when you wake up or exploring your mind’s ability to go within. And lucid dreaming can be beneficial. You can experience an elevated mood after having a lucid dream.
There are still unanswered questions about lucid dreaming and how it may affect people with various mental health conditions. One of the basics of lucid dreaming therapy is to learn to tell whether it’s a dream or reality you’re experiencing. Those with schizophrenia, PTSD, bipolar mania, or forms of dissociation may have particular trouble distinguishing between dreams and reality. One technique that may be helpful is to test the reality of the experience, determining whether it’s really a dream. For example, you might try to put a finger through a solid object. If you can do this, it’s a dream; if not, it’s reality. Another technique is to read something that appears in the dream, such as a poster. If the text shifts as you view it, you’re in a dream; if it remains the same, you’re awake. Conduct these reality checks at times throughout the day and you’re more likely to remember to try them when you’re asleep.
Other people recommend a technique to encourage lucid dreaming that involves setting an alarm and then going back to sleep after waking. However, this can lead to disrupted sleep and be harmful rather than helpful, even if lucid dreams do occur because of it. You could also experience vivid, lucid nightmares and need “imagery rehearsal therapy,” a form of journaling in which you write down the dream right after it occurs, then write another scenario that resolves the fear in a more positive way and rehearse this scenario before you go back to sleep.
Should you try lucid dreaming? It can depend on what kind of psychological problems you experience. For example, it’s not clear whether lucid dreaming can relieve nightmares associated with PTSD or make them worse. There are also medications that can be beneficial for repeated nightmares, but it may make sense to try lucid dreaming as a non-drug alternative.
I’m intrigued by the idea that you can learn lucid dreaming but mine are anxiety dreams about missing a plane, and it doesn’t seem called for. I don’t have real nightmares often, which I’m glad of. and they don’t recur. But for people who are plagued by them, I hope they can learn to respond as my husband does.
